No Direction [Summer]

[LUKE A. BECKETT]

Luke was pissed off. In all fairness, that wasn’t really an uncommon occurrence, but he was especially ticked today. It was his free period on a Monday and he’d heard word that he was supposed to meet the school counselor at her office. “What is the point of meeting with the school counselor if you’re not skipping classes?” he asked himself silently, as he paced through the hallways. There was no point; that was his answer. As the students got out of their classes and started getting ready for the next period, filling the hallways, he got to Miss York’s office, not looking forward to whatever it was that she wanted to talk about.

He had no idea what this was about. Classes had just started and so far he hadn’t done anything wrong. Luke was trying to lay low and stay out of trouble this semester and, even though he knew that it probably wasn’t going to last very long, he couldn’t be blamed of anything yet. After last year, when he failed more than half his classes, mostly for poor attendance, and got into at least three fights with other students, he really needed to stay off everybody’s radar, and that included the counselor.

Luke finally opened the door and walked into Miss York’s office. Late, as usual. About 10 minutes. He closed the door behind him and walked over to the chair facing her desk, keeping his head low. He sat down, without saying a word, and just waited.

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[SUMMER M. YORK]

All summer long, Summer had spent her time in the auditorium of Carmel High, proctoring the school's champion glee club. The sudden resignation and departure of the clubs former coach Shelby Corcoran left them with someone who needed to be there, at every rehearsal, making sure the kids didn't get into any trouble. Summer never had any experience with glee club or musicals or dancing, but she was the only one who could find the time to donate to her school.

It was that that gave her the idea. For the last year, she had one student she kept on her watch. Luke Beckett. She definitely had kids she watched closely, but Luke was a favorite of hers. How many times had she caught him skipping classes last year and stuck him in detention? Summer had lost count. She wanted all her students to succeed, and it just didn't seem like Luke cared. He probably didn't, for all she knew. They hadn't met in her office before, and since sophomore year was one of the hardest ones, she knew she had to get on his case early in the semester. She'd sent notice to his first period teacher that Luke was to be in her office during his free period, to discuss his problematic behavior and his future.

Of course, as she suspected, Luke was now eight and a half minutes late. She assumed he was wandering the halls, trying to be as late as possible, so he didn't have to spend the full hour with her. It wouldn't surprise her. He wouldn't be the only kid who did so, and he wouldn't be the only kid she gave a warning to. It was a first offense. She didn't like to be strict all the time, but some students just never learn.

Summer sighed, checking the clock again. Ten and a third minutes. As if he'd timed it, the door opened and Luke stepped inside, closed the door and sat in the chair on the opposite side of her desk. She watched, her eyes following him as he did so, her head remaining in the same position she'd been in when the door opened. Finally, she leaned back in her chair and opened the file, Luke's file, that lie on her desk. "It was very nice of you to join me, Mr. Beckett. Perhaps next time you will be reminded that it is not my time you are wasting, it is your own." Her voice was flat, unenthusiastic. After all, she was mildly annoyed. But her tone changed when her mouth opened next. "Do you have any idea why you are here?" she asked, looking up at him.

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[LUKE A. BECKETT]

After sitting down, Luke leaned back on the chair and rested his hands on his legs. Then, he glanced at the clock on the wall, probably not as discreetly as he should have. Now he wished he had gotten there a little later. They still had plenty of time to have a heart-to-heart and just the thought of that was enough to make him feel like cringing. Also, now he knew he was probably doomed to waste his whole free period at the counselor's office. Hell of a way to start the week. He had really hoped to spend these first few weeks of class without getting any grief, after all, being held back was already crappy enough, but apparently that was wishing too much. The extra work he had received for the summer clearly wasn’t enough.

He looked at her and then his eyes quickly scouted the room. He seemed a little unsettled on the chair. It wasn’t so much that talking to her made him nervous, it was more the fact that he knew he was on thin ice at the school and he had to somehow keep from being a smart-mouth now, something that wasn’t usually easy for him. And Luke certainly wasn’t very found of Miss York, he very well remembered spending many afternoons in detention thanks to her. "It was very nice of you to join me, Mr. Beckett. Perhaps next time you will be reminded that it is not my time you are wasting, it is your own." That phrase probably was the number one on the teacher’s book, it was amazing how much they loved it. He controlled the impulse to roll his eyes and just nodded, apologetically, but without actually saying anything.

"Do you have any idea why you are here?" Luke shook his head at that. He really didn’t and he wasn’t sure if he was going to like it. The fact that it was the first time he’d been called for an appointment at her office was definitely a bad sign. ”I don’t know. I just know that I didn’t do anything at all this time, so…“

[/i] The fact that he hadn’t done anything this time but he was still called there was what got him a little worried.
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[SUMMER M. YORK]

Summer sighed, closing Luke's file. "No, you haven't done anything wrong. This week." She looked at the student across from her. "Mr. Beckett, you are a smart kid. Just some of the choices you make are stupid. Last year, I had to stick you in detention more than I cared to. Not because I don't like you. I do like you, but I had to set an example. I've noticed that detention doesn't teach you anything, and that's fine. That happens sometimes." She picked up the file, and made a big show of tossing it in the trash. Of course, she'd have to pull it out later. The act was symbolic. "This year, you're starting with a clean slate. That's why I called you in here. I want to get you off on the right foot. Colleges love looking at someone's sophomore year. I know you're probably thinking you don't want to go to college, and that's fine too, but if you do, you'll get a better job and then make more money." She'd lost count of the amount of times she'd given that speech in the last four years. Summer always had at least one troublesome student who was somewhat lost when it came to what needed to be done.

"It came to my attention," she started, logging into her computer and pulling up Luke's grades from last year, "that your test grades are fairly good, but your lack of participation and failure to turn in homework on time is what makes you fail." She spun the monitor around, allowing Luke to take a look at his grades if he wished. "You just need to find the focus to do the homework. If you do that, you could easily get an A average." She paused for a few minutes, then turned the computer monitor back around when she thought Luke had enough time to glance over his previous grades. "Luke, what prevents you from doing homework? Surely there isn't too much of it; I know which teachers you had. Is it video games? Girls?" she asked. She needed insight into his world to fully understand him.

[LUKE A. BECKETT]

Luke stared at Miss York while she spoke, quietly listening like he was hanging to her every word. He started to crack his fingers, though, kind of a habit when he felt uneasy. While they were tiresome, he actually didn’t mind being given speeches that much. Luke knew the drill. He just had to pay enough attention and nod apologetically sometimes, thus convincing her that we was aware of his mistakes and willing to correct them in whatever way he could and he’d be out the door as soon as possible, without even having to say much. That usually worked.

She had a point when she mentioned him being smart, though. Luke’s problem wasn’t really his intelligence, but much more his laziness, his lack of ambition and mostly the fact that we couldn’t seem to care. He cared enough to want to graduate, though, even him admitted that, though only to himself. Luke was well aware of the fact that he didn’t have a bright future ahead of him and that the Algebra classes weren’t going to do him any good when he ended up flipping burgers somewhere, but he honestly thought that finishing high school would at least give him more of a fighting chance. He dreaded the thought of being stuck in Ohio as another hopeless loser. But he just couldn’t see many options for him, so the only things he would usually put some effort in and actually used his brain for were getting girls, which honestly didn’t require that much effort, much less brains, and finding ways to avoid doing any more work than what was absolutely necessary.

He watched, a little puzzled, as she threw his file in the trash can. Really dramatic. Luke didn’t really believe in clean slates. He sure as hell didn’t think his alcoholic abusive mother deserved one, nor did his junkie brother who ran out with all the money he could get from the insurance after their dad died. In all honesty, he didn’t feel like he deserved a clean slate himself, but he wouldn’t admit that not even to himself. Luke quickly erased that thought.

The whole college thing she was talking about was beyond him. As far as Luke knew, he had no chances of getting into a half-decent college, and even if he did, he wouldn’t be able to afford it. And he was pretty sure he didn’t want to spend more years studying, as if five in high school wasn’t already more than enough. "Even if I wanted, I can't think of any college that would take me."

[/i] He thought about how telling his mother that he was going to college would crack her up, before shrugging off the thought and returning to pay attention to Miss York, who now was showing him his grades. They weren’t that bad, actually. Especially in the classes he bothered to show up for. Still, that didn’t mean a lot to him, he just couldn’t see it the same way as she did. He also couldn’t hold a snort when she told him about getting an A average. She was way too optimistic there.

"Luke, what prevents you from doing homework? Surely there isn't too much of it; I know which teachers you had. Is it video games? Girls?” Luke waited for a few seconds, like he was expecting her to resume speaking. He realized she wasn’t going to. Damn. As she looked at him, he thought: “God, I’m in therapy now”. Luke had been in therapy before and that hadn’t worked out well. At his former school, right after his father’s death, they had made him go to the counselor once a week, but eventually he got away, since he’d sit in the office for hours and hours without saying a word. It was at that point that things started to get really bad for him and he started to change a lot.

It probably wouldn’t be wise to tell her he’d much rather spend his nights out drinking and hooking up than doing schoolwork. And when he wasn’t doing that, he was looking out for his mother, trying to keep her from choking to death on her own vomit, because he sure as hell didn’t want that on his conscience, no matter how much he hated her sometimes. But those were all just excuses, really. If those show choir kids that spent half their lives rehearsing could handle school and even get good grades, he certainly could do it too. Even if he tried, he couldn’t honestly explain why he couldn’t be bothered to care about his grades, about showing up for classes or handing in papers. At some point, he just seemed to have lost interest in becoming someone better. Or maybe it was just because he hated himself too much and he wasn’t even aware of that. It took him a few seconds to start speaking, shrugging his shoulders, like he didn’t really have answer for her. He wished he knew what she wanted to hear, so he could get out of there. ”I don’t know, Miss York. You tell me. Maybe I’m just a screw-up? Some people are just… wired wrong. Trust me, it runs on the family.”[/i] Luke actually wasn’t being sarcastic now, he really did believe that. Even though he was sure that answer wouldn’t be good enough for her, it was all he got.

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Note: Sorry, I got a little carried away and wrote way too much.
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[SUMMER M. YORK]

Again, Summer sighed, but this time it was more toward herself. What had made Luke give up so quickly? She'd have to recheck his files later, to look for any sign of family issues she hadn't noticed before. If Luke wasn't careful, he could end up in one place he really didn't want to be: juvenile hall. "Luke," she said, leaning over her desk, "what do you want from life?" The question was conventional, but if it did what she'd intended, it would cause the student to think. To really think. "You have to want something. What are your goals?" It wouldn't surprise her if Luke said he didn't have any. She'd just have to schedule another meeting for them. Summer didn't want to have to put him through more counseling sessions if he didn't need them, but she'd have to if he persisted on not trying.

She leaned back in her chair again, placing her hands on her desk and intertwining her fingers. "I don't think you're a screw up. I don't think you're wired wrong either. I just think you don't care." She could tell that much. "That has to change. You don't want a life like that." She almost told him to trust her, but stopped herself just before. Insisting that he trust her would be the last thing to actually get him to trust her.

Summer's eyes traveled to her computer screen, and she scanned his credits. "You have a year of physical education and a year of community service you need to make up before you can graduate. As school policy, you cannot take two gym classes at the same time. Do you have any ideas on how you can make that up?" she asked. She had an idea. She had a very good idea. It would make up for community service, physical education, and would teach him effective time management and team work. But she wanted to hear his thoughts before she offered him her own. Maybe he had something in mind, but then again, maybe not. She watched him carefully, waiting for a response.

[LUKE A. BECKETT]

”Luke, what you want from life? You have to want something. What are your goals?” He stared at the counselor for a few seconds and sighed. Luke just wanted do be done and get the hell out of that office, but it wasn’t going to be that easy. What did he want, anyway? Before he could realize, he was asking himself the question. Luke certainly didn’t have any long-term plans or any life dreams. That wasn’t for him. Life not only could be taken away from someone so easily, as it had happened with his father, but it could also shatter all your illusions in the blink of an eye. A few years ago, he had just stopped wishing for anything. He knew one thing he really wanted, though. What the hell, maybe that answer would make her happy. ”I wanna get out of here, that’s for sure. I don’t wanna be stuck in this dump of a town for the rest of my life.”

[/i] It was an honest answer. He really wanted out of that life. But he didn’t really believe he had a chance.

"I don't think you're a screw up. I don't think you're wired wrong either. I just think you don't care. That has to change. You don't want a life like that" Luke just shrugged at that statement. She wasn’t wrong, most of the times, he didn’t care. Honestly, sometimes he was just too busy feeling sorry for himself that he didn’t realize that things didn’t have to be so difficult. Not that he could admit that. Instead, he would just act like a jerk, say he didn’t care and move on, and that worked fine for him. He watched as she checked the computer screen, wondering what was next. "You have a year of physical education and a year of community service you need to make up before you can graduate. As school policy, you cannot take two gym classes at the same time. Do you have any ideas on how you can make that up?" Seriously? As if he needed that, on top of everything else. So that was why he was there. Luke rolled his eyes and took a deep breath before answering her, looking a little tired. ”That’s just great… No, I don’t have any ideas. I suppose you have one, Ms. York."[/i] Luke didn’t hide the sarcasm in that last comment. He had no clue that that conversation was going somewhere specific. What was she going to do? Give him extra work? Make him take another class? Luke had no idea, but he was pretty sure he wasn’t going to like it.

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